By, Mollie Danielle
The following Blog was written by a friend of Pastor Greg and Debbie. She is a born again, saved by grace through faith, woman of God. In this blog Mollie tackles a very tough issue. If you are struggling with this same problem please know that God’s grace is more than enough for you!
Ever sat down in front of a screen and watched porn? I have, and It killed me.
About two years ago, I found myself watching porn. It was one of the biggest mistakes I had ever made in my entire life. I was not where I should have been with the Lord and I was in a relationship that wasn’t helping the matter at all. On the outside I played it off pretty well, but on the inside I was dying. Why did I do that? Why on earth did that even seem appetizing at the time? I had a false sense of what sex was after watching it. I thought that what I saw on that screen was what every man wanted. Porn will distort your view of what sex really is. I hate porn and I hated it before that too. But I was struggling with a lot of insecurities at the time. I was saving myself for marriage (I still am) and it was so difficult to remain pure. I wanted a glimpse of what it would be like, so I went to a site and watched. I was SO wrong. After watching, I felt so incredibly dirty. I felt unworthy to look or talk to anyone. I didn’t want to be around my friends at church or leaders in my church after that. I felt like everyone that looked at me knew what I had just done. I felt so far from God and like He hated me. I was full of shame and guilt.
That next day, I went into my mom’s reading room and sat down. I looked at her and said, “I need to tell you something.” She looked at me, worried, and said, “What did you do?” I began to cry and explained to her what I had done. I was expecting her to say, “how could you” or “that is so gross!” But you know what she did instead? She showed me love and grace, and immediately I felt the Father’s love pour over my life. I felt renewed and every image that I had seen, was gone. I kid you not, the Lord restored my mind and to this day I cannot remember a single image.
Pornography and sexuality, in this culture, is seen as an okay thing. As long as you are not addicted you will be fine. wrong. Those women in films do not actually enjoy the “sex” they’re having. Did you know that? I recently watched a documentary on sex trafficking, and they showed a behind the scenes look into a film that was being made. This woman had to take a break in between shots to throw up because it was that painful and that uncomfortable. Porn is not what it seems. Most of those actresses are actually involved in sex trafficking. Every time you go and watch pornography you are aiding sex trafficking. You are allowing women to be bought and sold into slavery. I know people who think that a little porn is harmless. That’s like saying a little heroine is harmless, or that a few bottles of liquor is harmless. There has been a recent study that has proven that pornography has the same effect on your brain that drugs do. You would not do cocaine or heroine, so why would you continuously aid the billion dollar industry known as porn? God did not create sex to be what is on that screen.
God created sex, YES, He created sex. He created it for one man and one woman to enjoy within marriage. Sex is a beautiful thing that turns one man and one woman into one flesh. Genesis 2: 24“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” It creates an emotional bond that is hard to be broken. The way porn depicts sex is trashy and lifeless. There is no emotional bond shared between those two. It’s two actors getting paid to have emotionless, lifeless sex on TV. That’s not love, that’s lust. Porn will kill you, and it will kill you slowly. It will make you feel alone and empty. It will make you feel guilty and full of shame. Porn will tear you apart from God and will tear you apart from your loved ones. It will destroy your marriage, and it will destroy you. Porn was designed by men who like to use women to get money and fame. It has turned into a billion dollar industry. Our very own people are aiding an industry that kills and destroys human beings lives.
I have overcome watching porn because of God’s grace and mercy. I don’t ever want to fall back into that temptation, and I know I won’t. The Lord has restored my life, and is working on me daily. Sex is not a gross, dirty thing. It is beautiful and makes marriages stronger. Be careful what you are watching, it can hollow you out and make you feel less than what you truly are. You are precious, valuable, and worthy to love and be loved. Do not let something like this take away your worth.